If you lost something or someone dear to you, if you are on the verge of giving up on something or someone, if you just closed the door on a chapter of your life that you thought would never end, if you feel stuck because the pain just haunts you in the most unexpected waking hours, if you cannot see farther than the wound inside you, if you just plain feel exhausted from everything and do not feel like things could ever get better, if you are running from something but you have forgotten what exactly it is… then this post is especially for you.
Recently I was at the beach. It’s one of my most favorite places on the earth and I think that’s the reason why God sent me to live in a country that is an archipelago. I’m no diving expert (I even freak out with snorkeling) or athletic swimmer but there is something about being near water that calms me.
When I was watching the beautiful sunset one afternoon during my trip I could not help but notice the rhythmic movement of the waves. How it kisses the shore, and then quickly pulls back. There is something poetic, almost musical about it. I remembered that I once heard that the pain of the brokenhearted comes in waves. It comes, and then it goes, and you never know at which magnitude or what hour it will come.
Lately I have been asking God, how do you let go? I have been seeing a lot of reminders of painful events and it still affects me and I did not think they would anymore. Is there a way to ever really let go? Or are we forever destined to carry certain kinds of pain in our lives to remind us of certain lessons that we have a habit of forgetting?
I’m not really sure if we can fully let go of the things that have wounded us in this life but I am certain of two things: 1) That we can keep moving forward because life goes on 2) One day all pain will eventually disappear.
I know that you know that, deep down, inside of you, somewhere. I know that despite the tears, despite the almost constant tugging of anguish on your heart, that a whisper of hope remains. I tell you, listen to that hope. Strain your soul to hear it. It gets louder each time. Sure, there might still be days when you would fail to hear it, but at the very least you know it’s there.
I want you to know that you’re worth it. You really are. You do not have to be afraid of being good enough or worthy enough. You already are. You have a purpose. It is more than that job, that relationship with that person, that diploma, that award, the bank statement, that wardrobe… You are worth it. I know you question it but find the strength to choose to believe it. Say it with me: I am of infinite worth. You are. I truly believe that the star-breathing God of the universe knows you and sees your worth.
I am sure you have questions of why things had to end up the way they did. My dear, we all have questions. But it is what we do with those questions that make us. Allow these questions to move you to persevere. Do not let the questions define who you are going to become. Persevere because one day, when you look back, it will all make sense. You will understand. You will know. One day, the questions will cease to exist. In the meantime, continue. Keep moving forward.
Yes, some things are really just seasonal. There are things that will never be restored. But do not forget, there are also things that last. And more importantly, there are still things in your life that stayed. I understand you’re afraid to believe that they could last but do not let that fear paralyze you. Do not let that fear give you a life half-lived. I have allowed fear to rule my relationships for some time but it got me nowhere. I always felt I was missing out. I know it is frightening but I tell you that if there is anything being brokenhearted will teach you, it is that a heart that loves can never be truly destroyed. So keep loving. I find that there is no other way to live.
I wish that there was a time period for how to continue with life when you’re brokenhearted but there really is none. We all have our way of healing, and we all have unique places and seasons for it. I just know that it will happen. It is possible. There will come a day that it wouldn’t hurt so much anymore. And when all else is through, the pain will altogether stop.
Do not think you’re stuck. You aren’t. Why is it taking so long? I do not know. But I know that waiting with hope is never in vain. Just waking up each day to face life is a feat on its own and I am proud of you for doing so. Remember, stillness does not necessarily mean defeat or being stuck. There is a kind of stillness that is not in vain, the kind that is born out of trust. Trust that God is at work and He is working out things for you.
I pray for you, wherever you are. That God will light your path and that you will see it so you could walk out of that dark hole you’re in. I pray that you will be strengthened, healed and renewed. I pray for the smile to come back not just to your face but to your soul as well.
That broken heart of yours can still love again. Do not forget that. Actually it still does, and I pray that it will again. I look forward with you to that day.
“May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground. Carry on.” – Fun